Crying is a form of communication. It tells us so many things as to whether the baby is hungry, distressed or upset. Controlled crying refers to establishing a set bedtime routine, and good associations with sleep.This approach advocates that the baby has to be put to bed awake and the mother should leave the room for a temporary period.
The mother can return if the baby is crying. However, she can again leave the room for progressively longer period till the baby goes into a deep sleep. Such a kind of approach is suitable for mothers who hold the view that babies need fixed schedules of sleep. It should not be mistaken for a baby sleep technique.
What is ‘controlled crying’?
Controlled crying technique is around 100 years old. Initially it was used by an American DrRcihard Ferber. Controlled crying should only take a maximum of a week to work. But one cannot to be complacent-It is going to be a though week you need to be completely watchful of whatever is happening.
The key principles of controlled crying
Some of the important principles of controlled crying are detailed below:-
- One should have a consistent bedtime
- One should develop a positive bedtime routine
- Put your baby down to bed when s/he is drowsy
- Leave the room
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Some tips to start with the controlled crying approach
- Choose an appropriate time. Make sure you have a whole week ahead of you with nothing else on.
- Plan your work so you know exactly what you’re doing.
- Make sure your partner is in town. It’s too tough to do single-handed. If you’re a lonely mother, you could ask a good friend or relative to be with you.
- Keep in mind it’s not pain, illness, discomfort, fear, or genuine hunger that’s waking the baby up and make her cry.
- Make sure your neighbors know what you’re planning, if the walls are thin!
How is controlled crying done?
- You are going to leave the baby in the bed room checking the room temperature and making sure that there is nothing your child can hurt himself/herself.
- Place your baby in her cot in a darkened room while she awake. Quietly say ‘goodnight’ and leave the room.
- Once she starts crying, leave her for up to five minutes at first. Initially it could be 2 or 5 minutes. After this period is over and if the baby is still crying you can come back and say something like, ‘go to sleep. I’m here’. ‘
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- In a variant procedure, you can use a method called ‘repetitive reassurance’, touching or stroking her briefly to comfort her. But this procedure has been questioned by many experts. As it may lead to confusion in the mind of the baby.
- You can gradually increase the amount of time in between going in to check and reassure your baby. However, don’t leave the baby for more than ten minutes if he/she is not sleep.
- Make sure you don’t go out of earshot of your baby while she is crying.
- In theory as well as practice you need not go through this process for more than an hour. Most babies will have given up and gone to sleep by then!
- If your baby is able to stand and does not lie down to sleep you can return to the bedroom and give him necessary support to lie down and encourage lying down behavior before going to sleep.
- Alternatively you could leave the room whether your child is lying or standing. Return after sometime to make him lie down. In case the baby is older (18 to 24 months) and gets out of bed when you leave the room quietly, without speaking and avoiding eye contact; immediately return the baby to bed. Do this every time they get out, as many times as it takes.
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Points to be kept in mind about controlled crying
One important point to be kept in mind is that Consistency is the key to success. It is worth noting not to see these suggestions as set in tablets of stone, but as guidance. To make the baby develop a healthy sleeping pattern and also to show controlled crying some of the following tips could be of help.
- Often things seem to improve for some time but gradually they may become worse. It is important to remain firm then and continue as before and notto give up. Sometimes the opposite may also happen as things may get worse before they get better as your baby may try harder to counter all your efforts to make him sleep and frustrate you.
- Get help from a sympathetic family member or friend. Sometimes having someone who can support and take over when you are flagging can be invaluable. The important thing is that both you and your helper are consistent.
- Act in a similar way each night and till your baby learns to go to sleep alone. The baby should also learn to go to his own bed and stay there. Consistency is the sure fire way of achieving what you want when it comes to a good night’s sleep!
Crying out continuously harms your baby’s brain and even harms your marital relationship:
In the recent survey done by a popular firm indicates that crying it out harms children’s brain to great extent. Most of the women face the problem of sleepless nights due to their baby’s crying habit. They perhaps fear that their child will become and grow in to a sleepless kid who will have issues with his behavior and weight. On the other hand, when mother don’t stops their child from crying and let them cry until they fall asleep by themselves, it perhaps harm them and may cause issues in brain. Mothers should take care of their babies and should not let them cry out loud. It is not safe at all.
There is a mid way out which is known as common-sense parenting. Parents should watch over their kids and make choices as what to do to stop their kids crying habit. It’s potentially harmful to leave a child to cry as it generates high level of hormone cortisol that neurobiologists says is venomous to the individual brain. There is no denying the fact that ignoring babies crying will prove out to be harmful for their brains and could cause harmful damage to their developing brains. This is definitely a cruel habit to let your child cry until he falls asleep. In fact you should notice the time he is crying out loud and try to control his crying or search the reason behind the crying.
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Babies grow old and according to reports, you should not leave your 1 year old child alone as you were suppose to do with your new born baby. In fact, let baby cry is more dangerous than controlling them to cry. You should respond to their crying in an appropriate manner. When your kid is not sleeping and continuously crying then you should try to take help from someone who is experienced.
Crying babies’ mother usually face the problem of sleep deprived, lose temper, lose perspectives, gets irritated easily. It also leads to breakdown in marital relationships and postnatal depression as well. So if you are at your smartness with sleep deficiency, using few sorts of baby sleeping techniques and ways will assist you in improving things. This unavoidably means little crying as you are transforming habits and that is not at all easy for anyone.
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Experience and research tells that controlled crying and gradual withdraw training works. What is the key is that while using these methods you should respond to baby’s cries. It does not mean you provide your child what he wishes for while he is crying-out loud, it simply means you should respond to them as a thoughtful parent. When you are trying to tell your baby to sleep when he is fully awake and have never sleep before like this then he perhaps cry. If it is a usual cry, reassure him and go ahead to provide your support and then put your child in a cot when he is not sleeping. This method is done to make him learn to sleep by himself without any help.
He might cry, scream or protest but you need to assure him again till he finally knows how to sleep without any help. As parents, people are simply muddling through, targeting to get it correct all time and want to do best for their children. The choices they make are a part of their cumbersome plans, created by their unique situations, baby and family. You need to add lots of love and a use little bit of common sense and it is tough to go wrong. Controlled crying can be done easily if parents show responsibility towards their child and don’t ignore minute details of their child.
There are 3 Cs to control the crying baby:
There is a need to learn few tactics to control your crying baby. If you are baby having trouble sleeping all throughout the night and you can calmly coach her over a week of time. You need to consider few points prior you start. There are 3Cs to control the crying babies and those 3Cs are: consistency, confidence and collaboration. Here are elaborated explanations to 3Cs which are very important to control crying babies.
babies usually till three years of age confront occasions like attach feelings and traumatic fear to same situations if parents communicate fear at some event. When you stand at baby’s cot and keep looking at her with fearful eyes while she is crying or tears rolling down your cheeks, she will find the occasion as traumatic. It’s important to communicate and calm your child with confidence. When she look-up while you begin to teach her new ways of helping and calming herself to snooze, she must see emotions in your eyes that makes her experience secure, wanted and loved.
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You perhaps feel anxious within as you are trying to make your baby sleep which is indeed a tedious task but you have to show confidence to her so that she stops crying and go to sleep within no time. You have to go for this teaching when you have gone through ways like controlled crying ineffectively. Though, this isn’t controlled crying as well as you will be effectively prepared prior you begin to coach your child a novel and developmentally appropriate skill that is going to bed independently.
This way has been tested and tried over several years of experts practice. Though, if you don’t feel fully confident while trying this way of solving controlled crying or sleep issues, do not do it, as this won’t work as well as it will be quite tough for your baby and you.
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this is quite essential to teach your child a new technique of comforting herself to independently sleep is nothing but consistency. It’s not a good idea to teach your child at bed time but you should start when you baby is crying uncontrollably to make her understand and feel love. You need consistency in this procedure then only you will be able to get success in controlling the cry of your baby while sleeping.
The message your baby get is that she should cry long as well as hard to receive the old way reintroduced. It needs consistency to teach your child the procedure to sleep as this is a time taking process. If you don’t think you can keep up the method of sleep coaching till the end, don’t embark on it at first. It will be unfair and confusing for your child.
this simply means working mutually to help your baby to sleep. It is a joint effort of your partner, your baby and you. It’s essential that you both work together to get the better results and don’t undermine the procedure while working together. This is of great significance as it has great impact on second phase that is consistency. Both parents should agree to this procedure to support each other. Both of you need to prepare for whole week and may be more to make your little one sleep.
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What is controlled crying while feeding?
Crying babies create a lot of issue not only in sleeping but also while feeding and bathing. Controlled crying becomes sometimes impossible to make your child stop from crying. Sometimes they get crying fits which is definitely not good for child’s health. This is a stage of development of child and most of the babies in the age group of 1 to 3 years have the tendency to cry a lot. This is the stage where they learn new things like eating, sleeping, walking, crawling and exploring many new things. Your baby crying habit can be controlled only when you pay attention towards you child.
Give love and support to your child:
You child needs love and support along with your confidence on them. Child needs nourishment and your time. Always be ready to handle them when they are crying. Do not leave them cry alone, instead give them strength to stop crying and know the reason behind their crying habits. Breast feeding mothers searching for a relaxing night unavoidably come across the different techniques for still settling babies. You will find many controlled crying programs for your kids on various online websites.
Seek help from elders:
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This is referred as controlled crying. Though, while many parents try to control the child’s crying they usually fail. They only listen to their child’s uncontrollable crying her lungs out. You can follow above mentioned programs to get rid of crying through different techniques. You can even seek help from your elders at home as they are experienced and know how to tackle crying babies.